My last day...

The morning arrived, cloudy and muggy with a fine drizzle, either thanks to, or inspite of my feelings. It lacks originality to say that I'm facing the day with mixed feelings (I even taught all my kids the word bittersweet a few weeks ago in an effort to describe my state of mind), but at some point every person is confronted with events in their life which produce such a range of feelings that it can be overwhelming and it is the universality of the experience that gives it some of it's strength. However, such universality is hard to notice when I find myself the only one leaving and not coming back. Isolation is a far better word; at the same time I feel disconnected from the very people I find it so hard to believe I'm leaving, thus adding yet another confused layer to the cake. For the last two weeks I've been plodding through final lessons for each of my classes, realizing that as each one comes to an end, so to does my chance to impart a message to these kids. Each class contains, among the blended sea of faces, a few who have come to stand out in my mind and will remain there for some time, Silence, Empiy, Alan, Jacky, Jane and more. And now on the last of such days, I'm not terribly sure I'm ready to face several more significant goodbyes and a last class with the students I've come to know the best, my little brothers and sisters. In seeking out my final words of wisdom I've been thinking less and less about big questions like my role here and am now left with these personal relationships and I think this is what my students take away from my time here, a single good relationship that might serve as a foundation for others. Well, that and what I actually taught in class.


Now today is here, just as today always is, but this one brings with it the prospect of a very different tomorrow.